Introduction
Ever been told that you’re “too negative”? Or maybe you’ve noticed negative thinking patterns creeping into your daily life? Our tendency to focus on negativity isn’t a flaw; it’s a deeply rooted part of human psychology. But understanding why we fixate on the negative—and how to reshape this pattern—can be life-changing.
Why Do We Fixate on Negativity?
The Bias Towards Negativity
Reflect for a moment on your day. Did you receive any kind words? Experience any small victories? Now, think about any frustrations or criticisms you encountered. Often, it’s the negative moments that stay with us, overshadowing the positive. This “negativity bias” is a remnant of our evolutionary past. When survival depended on spotting dangers, our brains became finely tuned to notice potential threats.
In modern life, however, this bias often leads us to misinterpret benign situations as threats. A colleague’s brief glance can spiral into thoughts like, “She’s out to get me!” rather than the possibility that she might simply be distracted. While this instinct once protected us, today it can generate misunderstandings, anxiety, and even depression.
The Consequences of Negative Thinking Patterns
Negative thinking patterns don’t just affect our thoughts—they shape our behaviour, restrict our capacity for joy, and fuel stress. When these thoughts dominate, they prevent us from seeing the broader context, making it harder to empathise with others or find balance. Over time, this narrow focus on threats and irritations can create a pattern of rumination that’s hard to break.
Breaking Free from Negative Thinking Patterns
While negativity might feel automatic, shifting away from these thoughts is possible with the right tools. These steps can help break the cycle:
1. Breathe and Create Space
The first step is simply to breathe. Taking a moment to pause introduces space between your thoughts and actions, reducing the urge to react impulsively. Instead of confronting someone or jumping to conclusions, taking a breath allows for a more measured response.
2. Appreciate Your Brain’s Intentions
Recognise that your brain is just doing its job—highlighting potential issues to keep you safe. By acknowledging this, you gain the ability to step back and view these negative thoughts as just that: thoughts, not reality.
3. Reason and Challenge Assumptions
Ask yourself, “What could I be missing? Is there another explanation?” This questioning disrupts automatic negativity, encouraging more compassionate interpretations and fostering understanding.
4. Practise Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself. Mistakes happen, and our minds often lead us astray. Understand that negative thoughts don’t define you. By embracing self-compassion, you can live more freely without being weighed down by negativity.
How Reflective Coaching Can Help
As a Positive Psychology practitioner, I view our fundamental drive as life-giving, focused on growth and positivity. Coaching provides an effective path to identify and manage negative thinking patterns, helping you accept thoughts as temporary, rather than as defining parts of who you are.
Reflective coaching encourages mindfulness, which fosters self-awareness and opens space to realign with your values. Through practices like breathing, gratitude, and compassion, you can cultivate positivity as a guiding force, ultimately leading to a happier and more fulfilling life.
If you feel you may benefit from coaching to encourage more reflection on the positive aspects of your life please feel free to contact me here.
Embracing Positivity: A Journey Towards Fulfilment
Life is full of challenges, and negativity is often part of the journey. But by actively choosing positive thinking patterns (when you are calm and regulated - this is important), you reclaim control. Instead of living under the weight of assumptions or automatic reactions, you create a mindset that enables you to feel grounded, purposeful, and joyful. It’s a journey worth embarking upon, and coaching can be a supportive companion along the way.
Further reading:
To learn more about the negativity bias click here.
To learn about Barbara Fredrickson's Broaden and Build Theory of Positive Emotion click here. Her theory posits that an increase in positive emotions opens our minds up to many more possibilities whereas negative thoughts narrow our abilities to think more broadly and keep us ruminating on negatives.