When you hear the words couples therapy, you might picture two people sitting across from a therapist, diving into their latest conflict, hoping to find common ground. But what happens when your love life doesn’t come in a neat, two-person package? What if your relationship includes more than just two hearts in the mix—or none at all, for those living their best solo poly lives?
And while we’re here, what if therapy isn’t the solution you need? Maybe you’re looking for something more forward-focused, dynamic, and tailored to your unique connection(s). That’s where coaching steps in, challenging the old-school idea of “fixing couples” and making room for every kind of love story.
Let’s explore why the words “couples therapy” deserve a refresh, and why coaching might just be the modern alternative you didn’t know you needed.
Why the Word "Couples" Doesn’t Cut It
“Couples” is a term so ingrained in our vocabulary that we rarely stop to question it. It’s cozy, convenient, and rolls off the tongue—but it’s also limiting. Here’s why:
- Assumes Two Is the Magic Number: For those practising ethical non-monogamy (ENM), polyamory, or relationship anarchy, love often exists beyond a two-person dynamic. The word “couple” excludes triads, polycules, and solo poly individuals who prioritise autonomy over traditional pairings.
- Reinforces Relationship Norms: By centering the idea of two, it subtly suggests that anything outside of a couple is “less than” or in need of explanation. Spoiler: it’s not.
- Language Shapes Thinking: Words matter. Using “couples” as a catch-all erases the diversity of modern relationships and can make those who don’t fit the mold feel unseen.
Therapy vs. Coaching: What’s the Difference?
Therapy and coaching both aim to support relationships, but they go about it in different ways. While therapy often focuses on healing the past, coaching takes a forward-thinking approach. It’s about building skills, strengthening communication, and navigating the complexities of love with confidence.
Here’s how coaching shines:
- Focus on Growth: Coaching isn’t about diagnosing or fixing. It’s about helping you and your partner(s) grow into the best versions of yourselves.
- Flexibility for All Dynamics: Whether you’re a throuple figuring out schedules or a solo poly individual navigating multiple connections, coaching adapts to your needs.
- Tools for the Future: While therapy often explores “why,” coaching is about “what now?” It’s practical, actionable, and ready to meet you where you are.
Why Coaching Is a Game-Changer
Coaching isn’t just therapy-lite—it’s a different ballgame altogether. Here’s why it’s perfect for modern relationships:
It Goes Beyond the Couch
Forget the image of sitting on a couch in a neutral-toned office. Coaching sessions can happen online, in a coffee shop, or even during a walk in the park. It’s designed to fit into your life, not the other way around.
Tailored to Your Dynamic
From polycules to platonic partnerships, coaching isn’t bound by traditional definitions of a relationship. It’s about helping your unique connection thrive—whether that means resolving conflict, enhancing communication, or simply figuring out how to make Google Calendar work for six people.
It Builds Skills, Not Just Fixes Problems
Coaching isn’t only for relationships in crisis. It’s a proactive way to deepen intimacy, foster understanding, and ensure your relationships grow with intention. Think of it as a love-life upgrade.
Relationships Aren’t One-Size-Fits-All
Let’s face it: the traditional model of couples therapy doesn’t work for everyone. Modern relationships are as diverse as the people in them, and they deserve support that meets them where they are—not where society expects them to be.
Coaching offers a flexible, inclusive alternative that values your unique dynamic and focuses on building the future you want. Whether you’re in a pair, a polycule, or thriving as a solo poly individual, the right support can help your relationship(s) flourish.
Ready to Rethink Relationships?
If you’ve been searching for support that goes beyond the binary, coaching might be just what you’re looking for. It’s not about fixing you—it’s about helping you grow, together or apart. Curious to learn more? Let’s start the conversation here.
Much Love,
Anabel x