Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, I don’t know who I am anymore? Perhaps a relationship has ended, leaving you wondering who you are without them. Maybe you’ve spent years prioritising your family, friendships, or career, shaping yourself to fit the expectations of others, only to realise you never truly developed a sense of you. Or perhaps a major life change—a health scare, becoming a parent, or your children leaving home—has left you feeling unmoored, unsure of what you want, or even what you enjoy.
If this resonates, know that you’re not alone. So many of us lose our sense of self along the way. But here’s the good news: you can rediscover yourself, and coaching can help.
Life is full of transitions, and with each one, our sense of identity can shift. Sometimes, these shifts are welcome—we evolve, we grow. Other times, they leave us questioning everything.
In each of these situations, the core question remains: Who am I now?
Many of us fall into patterns of people-pleasing without even realising it. We prioritise keeping the peace, avoid rocking the boat, and shape-shift to fit into our relationships, friendships, or workplaces. But when we spend so much time adapting to others, we can forget who we are at our core.
Do you recognise yourself in this? Have you ever:
✅ Said "yes" to things you didn’t actually want to do, just to avoid conflict?
✅ Let your own interests fall by the wayside in favour of a partner’s, friend’s, or family member’s preferences?
✅ Felt uneasy making decisions alone because you’re not sure what you actually want?
If so, you’re not broken. You’ve just spent so much time tuning into others that you’ve lost touch with yourself. And that’s something we can work on together.
Rediscovery coaching is all about helping you reconnect with your authentic self—your values, your passions, your desires—so you can build a life that actually feels like yours.
As a rediscovery coach, I create a space for you to:
🔹 Explore what truly matters to you, beyond external expectations.
🔹 Identify interests and hobbies that bring you joy.
🔹 Clarify your personal values so you can make decisions with confidence.
🔹 Develop a sense of self that isn’t dependent on relationships or roles.
One of the biggest fears people have when they feel lost is that they’ll never figure it out. But rediscovering yourself isn’t about returning to who you were—it’s about embracing who you’re becoming.
It’s okay if your tastes, interests, and priorities have changed. It’s okay if you don’t know exactly what excites you yet. This process is about exploration. And the more space you give yourself to be curious, the more you’ll uncover.
If you’re reading this and thinking, This is me, know that you don’t have to figure it out alone. Rediscovery coaching can help you navigate this transition with clarity, self-compassion, and excitement for what’s next.
Want to explore how coaching could support you? Learn more about rediscovery coaching here, or get in touch to book a free chat.
You deserve to feel like yourself again. And I’d love to help you get there.
Much Love,
Anabel x
In a world that demands constant movement—towards achievement, productivity, and performance—coaching offers something radically different: a space to pause, to be, to feel truly held.
The coaching relationship is not just a transaction of strategies and solutions; it is an invitation. A sanctuary where you are met with presence, not pressure. A space where curiosity leads, rather than rigid goals. Where transformation unfolds through reflection, exploration, and the deep resonance of being seen, valued, and heard.
Coaching, at its heart, is relational. It is the co-creation of a space where you are not measured by your output but honoured for your being. Here, you are invited to lean into self-inquiry with compassion. To hold your experiences with gentle curiosity rather than self-judgment. To explore without expectation.
Through playfulness and curiosity, coaching becomes an adventure of possibility rather than a checklist of improvements. It allows for discovery without the burden of needing to be ‘better.’ This is not about fixing but about unfolding. Not about striving, but allowing.
So much of life is geared towards doing—towards achieving, proving, and progressing. But what if there was power in simply being? The coaching relationship reclaims this space. It is a place where presence matters more than performance, where connection matters more than correction.
Through deep listening, non-judgmental witnessing, and loving kindness, coaching offers a rare and necessary refuge. A space where you do not have to justify your feelings, where silence is not empty but full, and where your voice is met not with answers but with understanding.
True transformation does not arise from force but from presence. It is in being seen without condition that we soften, open, and grow. Coaching, in its purest form, is not about pushing forward but about deepening into self-awareness and self-trust. It is about allowing space for what is emerging rather than forcing what is next.
Loving kindness holds this process. It is the gentle force that nurtures change, not through pressure, but through profound acceptance. When we feel safe, truly seen, and deeply valued, we begin to move from a place of authenticity rather than expectation. And in that, we find not just change, but wholeness.
Much Love,
Anabel
x
For more information on coaching as a space for presence, I highly recommend this podcast interview with Aboodi Shabi on The Association for Coaching Podcast.
If you feel you would benefit from a coaching relationship like this, feel free to contact me to chat about the services I offer.
Talking about sex can often feel like one of the most vulnerable aspects of any relationship. But beneath the discomfort of discussing desires and boundaries lies something much larger: the deep-seated influence of traditional sexual scripts. These cultural and societal narratives shape how we view ourselves and our partners, and they can perpetuate patterns that hinder open, honest sexual communication.
I know this first hand. Recently, I delivered a webinar on sexual communication, and despite my research and advocacy around breaking the silence, I still felt the weight of societal expectations. My heart raced, my mouth dried, and I found myself questioning my role in discussing sex, especially considering how sex has been framed in our society—often with shame or silence attached.
If I, as a researcher and sexually liberated person, felt this pressure, imagine how it must feel for those who are navigating these conversations in intimate relationships under the heavy influence of traditional sexual scripts.
In many societies, sexual roles are scripted, and these scripts can influence how individuals communicate about sex, both with themselves and with their partners. Traditional sexual scripts—which often define roles based on gender, sexual orientation, and expectations—can limit the depth of sexual communication, creating barriers to understanding, vulnerability, and satisfaction.
These scripts are learned early in life and reinforced through media, culture, and even family dynamics. They shape how we view intimacy, sexual desire, and gender roles in our relationships. As a result, sexual communication becomes laden with unspoken assumptions that may not reflect our true needs or desires.
The fear of deviating from traditional sexual scripts leads to self-censorship and silence, which perpetuates a cycle of unmet needs and emotional disconnection. These scripts create a false sense of “how things should be,” making it hard for partners to have authentic conversations about what they truly want or need in their sexual lives.
When we don’t question or critically engage with these norms, we perpetuate the societal idea that sex is taboo or should be treated as something sacred, separate, or shameful. But in reality, sexual communication in relationships is essential to ensuring emotional health, respect, and true intimacy.
When we continue to adhere to these traditional sexual scripts and avoid communication, the consequences go beyond individual relationships. On a societal level, this lack of open dialogue can contribute to:
While systemic change around sexual communication is necessary, there are small but impactful ways we can begin to shift these norms in our personal relationships. These changes, over time, can have a ripple effect, challenging cultural assumptions about sex and empowering individuals to speak their truths.
Before engaging in sexual communication with a partner, it’s crucial to understand how traditional sexual scripts have influenced your own beliefs about sex. For many of us, these scripts are so ingrained that we don’t even question them. To break the silence, we first need to examine how these societal narratives have shaped our sexual identities and communication styles.
Action Steps:
Talking about sex doesn’t have to be a solitary journey. Vulnerability in relationships can be a shared experience, where both partners work together to break down the walls built by societal expectations. It’s not just about speaking for yourself but creating a space where both individuals can challenge societal norms together.
Start by sharing:
Instead of focusing on a perfect sexual experience, shift the focus to connection and mutual understanding. Let go of the belief that sex has to be flawless or fit into a particular script. This reframing allows space for authentic conversations about desires, boundaries, and how to make intimacy a shared, fulfilling experience.
Action Steps:
Changing how we communicate about sex requires challenging larger cultural and societal norms. While this might feel like an overwhelming task, the power lies in everyday actions—like being open with partners, advocating for sex-positive spaces, and supporting inclusive dialogue in your communities.
Engage in conversations with friends, communities, and organisations that challenge traditional sexual scripts and advocate for more inclusive, open dialogue.
When we embrace sexual communication and question traditional sexual scripts, we create not only better relationships but also a more inclusive, sex-positive society. These conversations help us dismantle harmful norms and open up new avenues for connection, intimacy, and mutual respect. Breaking the silence is about more than improving individual relationships—it’s about creating a culture where everyone can express their needs, desires, and boundaries without fear of judgement or exclusion.
The journey to changing sexual communication begins with self-awareness, vulnerability, and collective action. By addressing and deconstructing traditional sexual scripts, we can shift the cultural conversation about sex and intimacy, fostering deeper connections and more equitable relationships.
Remember, each step you take towards better sexual communication not only strengthens your own relationships but also contributes to a larger cultural shift towards more open, inclusive, and authentic conversations about sex.
Further Reading
If you would like to delve deeper into the research on sexual scripts, here is an original article by the founders of sexual script theory William Simon and John Gagnon.
I also recently published an article for Kiss & Tell Magazine on the same topic, which can be found here.
Anabel x
As a relationship and communication coach, I often find myself reflecting on the myriad ways we can deepen our connections with those we care about. One aspect that frequently emerges in my discussions with clients is the importance of playfulness in romantic relationships. It’s fascinating to delve into the evidence supporting this concept and explore how a playful approach can enhance our relationships in delightful and meaningful ways.
Research has shown that playfulness in romantic relationships can lead to increased satisfaction and intimacy. Playful interactions often help partners navigate conflicts more effectively and foster a sense of safety and trust. When we embrace playfulness, we invite joy and laughter into our lives, making our relationships more vibrant.
Playfulness serves as a vital ingredient in relationship dynamics for several reasons:
To better understand how we can embrace playfulness in our relationships, I want to introduce you to Proyer’s OLIW model, which describes four facets of playfulness:
Understanding these facets of playfulness can help partners identify what resonates with them and how they might incorporate it into their interactions.
If you’re eager to bring more playfulness into your relationship but feel unsure where to start—or perhaps you find the idea of being playful a bit daunting—don’t worry! Here are some joyful suggestions that can help:
It’s essential to remember that playfulness is not a one-size-fits-all concept. What feels playful to one person may seem silly or uncomfortable to another. It’s crucial to be empathetic towards yourself and your partner as you explore this aspect of your relationship. Allowing space for discomfort can lead to growth and deeper understanding.
Incorporating playfulness into romantic relationships can be a powerful tool for fostering connection and enhancing relationship satisfaction. By understanding the different facets of play and exploring ways to integrate them into our lives, we can create more joyful and resilient partnerships. Let’s embrace the potential of play and enrich our experiences together, knowing that laughter and connection can transform our relationships in the most delightful ways.
If you are interested in reading more about Playfulness in Relationships I fully recommend the following articles:
Working with a coach can also help bring more playfulness to your relationships. If you would like to give it a try, you can contact me here.
Anabel x
Have you ever tried to help your partner, only to feel like your efforts made things worse? Maybe you offered advice, thinking you were being supportive, but instead of gratitude, you were met with frustration. This can be a common experience in relationships, so let’s dive into how you can support your partner in a way that actually helps rather than hinders.
In relationships, it’s easy to misinterpret what our loved ones truly need. Sometimes, your partner may seem to be asking for help, but what they really want is a listening ear or a comforting presence. So, how can you support your partner in a way that meets their true needs and strengthens your bond?
Before jumping in to "fix" things, consider asking your partner what kind of support they need. Here are a few approaches:
The most straightforward way to understand what your partner needs is to ask. Try something like, “Would you prefer to talk it out or do you just need a hug?” or “Would practical advice help, or would it be more helpful just to vent?” Direct questions can save you both from misunderstandings.
If your partner is dealing with a work-related issue, remember they likely know the situation best. Sometimes they may just need a space to process their thoughts, without added input. Consider whether offering an outside perspective is truly helpful or if it might add to their stress.
Sometimes, the most supportive thing you can do is give your partner space. When tensions are high, even well-meaning help can feel overwhelming. Recognising when to step back can show respect for their needs and allow them to regain a sense of control.
Supporting your partner doesn’t always go as planned, and your attempts might sometimes be met with irritation. Here’s how to handle those moments gracefully:
It’s natural to feel hurt if your support isn’t received well, but remember, their reaction is likely a reflection of their own stress. Try not to take it to heart if they seem frustrated. By staying calm and compassionate, you’ll help keep the environment emotionally safe.
If a discussion begins to escalate, consider suggesting a pause. This isn’t about ignoring the problem but about giving each other the space to approach the issue more calmly. You might say, “Let’s take a break and come back to this when we’re both feeling clearer.” Taking a step back can prevent unnecessary conflict.
Take some time to think about how you and your partner typically handle stress together. Do you tend to jump in with solutions, or do you offer the emotional support they might be seeking? And importantly, how do you express your own needs when you’re feeling overwhelmed?
If navigating these moments feels challenging, you might consider relationship coaching. Together, you can explore ways to communicate more effectively, foster a deeper connection, and build a partnership where both of you feel truly seen, heard, and valued. If you feel I could help you, please contact me here.
If you would like to read more about communicating positively in your relationships you can check out my other blogs here. Or if you love to read, there is an amazing book that I highly recommend to my clients called Nonviolent Communication: a Language of Life By Marshall B. Rosenberg which can be found in many places including Amazon. There are also some information, resources and exercises here on NVC that you may enjoy.
Anabel x
Are communication struggles in your relationships causing frustration and distance? You're not alone. Poor communication is one of the most common issues those in relationships face, and it can gradually undermine even the strongest connections. If conversations often end in confusion or feelings of being unheard, it's time to explore why this happens and how you can overcome these barriers to create a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
Poor Listening Skills: A Hidden Culprit
One of the key reasons for communication struggles in relationships is poor listening. It's easy to assume that hearing the words your partner says means you're truly listening, but active listening goes much deeper. Studies show that many of us fail to listen actively, meaning we don’t fully understand or acknowledge what our partner is saying.
When active listening is absent, misunderstandings and feelings of neglect can arise. This can lead to unresolved conflicts, creating a cycle of miscommunication that makes it harder to reconnect, leaving both partners frustrated and emotionally distant.
Distractions
In today’s fast-paced world, distractions like smartphones, work, or outside stress can make it hard to fully focus on your partner during conversations.
Emotional Reactions
We all have emotional triggers, and sometimes, an emotional reaction to what your partner says can interrupt your ability to truly listen. Instead of engaging in dialogue, we may start defending ourselves.
Assumptions
Many of us make the mistake of assuming we know what our partner will say before they even finish speaking. These assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities for connection.
When communication struggles go unaddressed, they can lead to serious consequences. Poor listening may leave conflicts unresolved, which can breed resentment. Emotional intimacy begins to fade as partners start to feel disconnected, and trust may begin to erode. Over time, these issues can threaten the future of your relationship.
Building Active Listening Skills
If you’re facing communication struggles, relationship coaching can help. Through coaching, you can develop active listening skills, which allow you to understand your partner’s emotions and intentions more clearly.
Emotional Regulation
Coaching also focuses on emotional regulation, helping you stay calm and engaged in difficult conversations. Rather than becoming defensive, you’ll learn how to manage emotions and keep communication open.
Empathy and Understanding
Relationship coaching fosters empathy, helping you to see things from your partner’s perspective and strengthening your emotional connection.
Confidence in Communication
Coaching boosts your confidence, allowing you to express your needs and desires respectfully and clearly, reducing frustration and fostering a deeper connection.
Effective communication is vital for any relationship to thrive. Without it, even the strongest bonds can weaken over time. The good news is that communication struggles don’t have to last forever. Relationship coaching can give you the tools you need to improve your connection, listen more attentively, and communicate more openly. Take the first step today and contact me to book a free consultation session.
Anabel x